Dancing Hotdogs

By Eddy

Based on an obscure DC Comic, The Losers attempts to steal the thunder of the upcoming A-Team movie.  In the end it serves to give audiences a junior varsity version of what they should expect from the upcoming movie based on one of my favorite TV shows.

Let’s break out the check list:

• Team of wrongly disgraced Special Forces forced into hiding after mission gone wrong.-Check
• Cast of quirky characters full of “personality” with their well defined rolls (Crazy guy, smooth ladies man, leader , and angry minority)-Check
• Team sets out to clear their name and help the damsel in distress or unfortunate victim-Check
• Things obviously never go as they are planned-Check

Now that we have established that, let’s talk about execution.  I can easily sum it up in three words “I wanted more”.  I wanted more action and explosions; I wanted more character and more fun.  The Losers gives you just enough to wet your whistle but not enough to satisfy.  It didn’t help that I had just seen a reasonably entertaining trailer of the A-Team before the movie started.  The Losers just tries too hard to be mean but not mean enough to get a rated R rating.  It essentially watering itself down that it just loses itself among the thousands of recent generic action flicks that have come out in recent years.  Unfortunately, I don’t think this will change with the A-Team movie (it’s too commercial).  It might just take the resurrection of Sylvester Stallone in The Expendables to break the cycle, but time will only tell.

There isn’t much to say about the cast, it’s your average collection of more or less tough looking guys and one girl.  I am pretty sure you will recognize them so instead of telling you who they are I will just refer to them as I know them (ah! How dare I make our readers think?) starting with Denny from Grey’s Anatomy, the kid from Stomp the Yard , The main girl cat thing from Avatar , our future Captain America,  the guy who took over for Michael for like five seconds in TV show The Office and finally an actor that looks weirdly like the Apple guy.  Oh yeah, the bad guy (who apparently studied for the part at the Nick Cage school of crazy acting) was the hero in Speed 2: Cruise Control. 

So after all that, should you spend your hard earned money on the movie? I would say no, if you are a fan of the comic book (all three of you) then you may want to watch.  For anyone else you are better off renting a 80s action movie or just waiting till this one hits the 1$ rental box or HBO.