March 13th, 2009
By Eddy
Here is a quick hit review since I haven’t posted in a while. For those of you waiting with baited breath…please breath before you pass out. There will be a review for Watchmen coming out soon.
Let me start by saying that Guy Ritchie Films are like an intricately knitted sweater, the various yarns are meshed together masterfully giving you a final product that any one would be proud to wear at Auntie Maybel’s tea party.
Films like Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels and Snatch, are a glorious mess of interwoven stories and characters that leave you feeling like you saw something cool and hip (I remember when they first came out all the pompous ass’s were just raving about the movies and acting all pompousy about being the first to see the movie before everyone else…turns out that they were just English…my bad).
Before I continue let me explain to you, my dear readers, why these films are such a big deal. Let me give you a brief history of English movies before during the period that these movies came out.
You had two choices if you wanted to see a movie in England:
1) A Victorian love story where everyone gives each other furtive glances and speak in whispers of intrigue (ie. No nudity)
2) OR a Hugh Grant movie…that is basically it.
So even though Guy Ritchie Films have mainly English people in the films, they actually put down the crumpets and picked up glocks which was freaking revolutionary at the time!(now all they had to do was snuff out Hugh Grant…really who cheats on Liz Hurley back in those Days).
Take a look at these photos and tell me who would you chose
Rock N Rolla starts with the same ingredient as most Guy Ritchie films likable scoundrels (Gerard Butler) as the main character a few “Guy Ritchie movie guys” and a number of interwoven plots culminating in a grand finale.
Unfortunately, while wearable the sweater is ill fitting and smells like old people (Madonna). The combination of all the parts of the movie just doesn’t work all together, don’t get me wrong I wasn’t trying to gouge my eyes out and there were a couple of out right funny parts, but in total I felt like I was watching a lesser product.
As you can tell, I blame all of this on Madonna. As I stand I think it was the stranglehold that was their marriage caused the quality of the movie to go down. Hell, take a look at the films he has done since being married with Madonna:
Swept Away: GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD AWWWFUULLL! I am pretty sure that they based the movie that kills you in The Ring from the DVD of this film.
Revolver: I never saw it but from what I hear it sucked. Are you starting to see a trend?
Rock N Rolla: Now this one isn’t as bad, because if you believe the tabloids things were starting to dissolve in the Richie/Madonna household.
Now that he is divorced I hope to see his next movie Sherlock Holmes be much improved. If not, I am convinced he may have already died 7 days after making Swept Away as a Skeletal Madonna emerged from his TV screen and sucks away his soul.
A Happy Ending had by all!
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